our portraits, our families – ka-man tse

Ka-Man Tse,
w/ Cheryl Gladstone – wife, Mikwan Tse – mother, Yuk-Hong Tse – father

Images by Ka-Man Tse

We are a family of five; I am the youngest of three daughters. My mom calls the shots and sets the tone. My father is stoic, but don’t be fooled! He has a great sense of humor and play. My older sisters are responsible while I am the youngest – an artist and troublemaker. All three daughters are now married, expanding the family to 8.  In a strange twist, their gay daughter is the only one who married an Asian – my wife Cheryl is Jewish and Filipino.

Food is the language we share in our family. Growing up in Schenectady in the 1980s, we would pile into our little blue Honda every month to make the 3.5-hour pilgrimage to buy groceries in New York City Chinatown (and go to dim sum!). The rituals of selecting the right meats and produce, preparing food, and sharing meals, continue to be an obsession and a joy. In this space between and during meals, my parents let loose and we bond.

When I first came out to my parents 16 years ago, I could not fathom how long they would need to come to terms with having a gay daughter. I often wondered if they ever would, but I was determined that we would remain in each others’ lives.  It has been a long and often painful process and still remains a work in progress. However, my parents have come to share meals with my partner and now welcome my wife into their home.

When I first came out to my parents 16 years ago, I could not fathom how long they would need to come to terms with having a gay daughter.

Through the photographer’s eyes

It is exhilarating to see my parents in the same room as Cheryl. Just the other day, they teamed up to yell at me for taking too long with the view camera as our meal of steak, razor clams, fish, and snow pea shoots started to cool.  Sik Fan Ah! they exclaimed in joined exasperation.

It is the moment I have been rooting for.